The wrath of Alice
by Sharpie1994
Summary: Alice may be small, but she can be scary when angry. See what happens when she deals with this new emotion. I'd feel sorry for anyone that messes with her. Mixed POV's , cannon pairings, rated T because I'm paranoid.
1. she better not make you crazier!

JPOV

I've got an I heart question mark written on the back of my hand. lalalalala Taylor Swift is just about the coolest person in the frickin world. She's like you make me crazier...she makes me crazier! Ahh....I see Alice! She looks angry. Livid. She's going to kill me!  
I'm scared. Wait...she can't kill me...haha I'm literally a dead man. Oh yeah Alice.

APOV

vision starts *"Jasper may I ask how she makes you crazier?" Edward smirked. "Stop reading my thoughts or I'll make you go all emo!" Jasper yelled. "well i always thought you liked little Ali-kins...but I guess Taylor makes you crazier"*  
end of vision

Who the hell is this frickin Taylor girl? Im going to fucking kill her. She better not be wearing the newest Paul Mark blue suede jacket. I NEED that jacket. NO! That's why he likes her, she probably has the jacket. Who the hell is Taylor?  
Oh well...time to kill my jackass, immortal husband.

EPOV

haha. Alice is going to tackle Jasper for liking Taylor Swift. I love myself!  
She looks pissed! Im going to go write some sad, depressing love song on my piano so Bella will love my awesome glittery vampireness more!

JPOV

"JASPER!" Alice screamed. God. she sounds pissed. What did I do? God I need to stop talking to myself now I have no time. Alice is an inch away from me.  
"Why are you talking about some stupid Taylor girl?" she asked very calmly. She knows that voice scares me.  
"I don't remember speaking about anyone named Taylor recently dear, are you okay?" what is she talking about?  
"No, you didn't speak of her YET, but you were going to. How the hell does she make you crazier?" she started calmly but her emotions got the best of her and ending in a high pitched teenage-girl scream. I still have no idea what she is talking about. Her emotions are so serious though. She knows what she's talking about. She must have had a vision. AHHA!  
She is talking about Taylor Swift. Haha she is jealous! That's so cute! "Taylor SWIFT has a song called crazier. I was singing it in my head earlier." I said slowly,  
hoping to calm her down. If she was human she would be hyperventilating.  
"oh, okay, haha, I get it, just a song, oh, yeah, thats okay then, haha." she stammered.  
"Alice honey, were you perhaps....a little jealous?" I asked, god this is so amusing.  
"NO! I would never be jealous! I am amazing! You love me. I MADE YOU LOVE ME!!!!! I will NEVER be jealous. I just wanted to know is all." she screamed.  
"okay dear I'm sorry. I must have mis-interpreted your emotions. I am a horrible empath."  
that calmed her. YAY! she loves me again.  
"Okay love you Jazzy, I'm going shopping!" she declared walking up stairs toward Edward's room. "BELLA!!!" I heard her scream. Haha she is next to face the wrath of ALice. 


	2. Am I hallucinating?

BPOV

I was lying on the beautiful, overpriced, unnecessary bed Edward placed in his room listening to him hum the melody to a new song he is writing. God, he is so beautiful I love him. Just as I was about to ask him what it was called I was interrupted. "BELLA!" Alice screamed from outside the door of the bedroom. NO! she is after me. It's Tuesday and I haven't spent much time with Edward yet. NO. I won't do it. Whatever she wants. NO.  
After no one answered her she skipped into the room and made her presence known by jumping on the bed.  
"yes Alice, what would you like?" I asked.  
"stop being a smart ass, we're going SHOPPING!" she said.  
"No Alice, I am going to stay here, not go shopping, not try on millions of outfits, not spend your money,  
I am staying right here." I stated calmly. She, on the other hand did not look so calm.

APOV

Am I hallucinating? Did she just say no? Haha she thinks she has a choice. No. No one tells me no. I am Mary Alice Brandon Cullen and I possess the wicked power of manipulation. hehe "No, Bella that is where you are wrong. You are going shopping with me, you will try on clothes, I will spend money, and you are definately not staying here. I have seen it. You won't win an arguement against me. So just give in." now what can she say to that? huh? nothing. because I am awesome and she is now stunned speechless by my awesome future-seeing power!

BPOV

okay, I thought I would win. I won't. I give up. Wait, no. I have a sparkly, indestructable vampire boyfriend to defend me against the scary pixie.  
"Edward, do I HAVE to go with her?" I asked in my most whiney voice.  
"What do you want to do, love?" he asked so very sweetly. Why does he do that, he knows it distracts me.  
"I want to stay here and listen to your beautiful music, but Alice won't let me." I pouted. "She didn't really have a vision, i can read her mind, you don't have to go." and then it began. A full out frickin vampire attack! Alice jumped on Edward, causing him to fly through the open glass window. I stood to look out and saw Alice jumping on him telling him "no one challenges me! I am always right! I always win! Go die!"  
Wow. okay I think I'll just go shopping.  
"Alice, I'm getting my coat on lets go to the frickin mall!" I yelled

APOV

haha. I always win. TIME FOR SHOPPING! 


	3. Did she just say 96 hours?

BPOV

Okay, so I've been sitting in Alice's porsche for 5 hours now. When I said mall, she meant the one is Ontario,Canada. This is crazy.  
Then she decided against flying when she had a vision of a flight attendant wearing shoes that "are so last season" she said this was a crime against humanity and would rather drive. TO CANADA.

-3 hours later-

I fell asleep and was awoken by Alice screaming that we were here.  
Oh joy, now I get to walk into a mall looking like shit and stumbling over my own feet. (that are of course covered in frickin stilletto's) This should be interesting.

APOV

yay! We are here. This is the only mall I haven't been to in North America. This is a day to celebrate! This will also be a very long,  
fun day. Bella will be so happy. I already got us a hotel room. We are staying here for 4 days! Time to tell Bella.

BPOV

"okay, so we just need to check into the hotel, get you all pretty looking, let you eat disgusting, repulsive human food, and then we can go shopping!" Alice announced. Okay, sounds pretty normal. Wait,  
did she just say 'hotel?  
"Alice why do we need to check into a hotel? It's noon, the mall is already open." "silly girl, of course the mall is open, but the mall wont be open for 96 hours straight, and you might want a few hours of sleep." ..no. 96 hours? did she just say 96 hours? "Alice how long are we staying here?" I timidly asked.  
"Only four days cause Carlisle said we had to go to school on Monday."  
she sighed. "FOUR DAYS! FOUR DAYS! ALICE WE CANT STAY HERE FOR FOUR DAYS! I NEED TO SEE EDWARD, AND GO TO SCHOOL, AND MAKE CHARLIE DINNER."  
"Bells stop being so dramatic. Edward and the guys went on a hunting trip, Carlisle called the school, and Esme is going to make Charlie food." she said slowly, trying to get me to calm down.

APOV

God, why can't I be a fucking empath like Jazzy? She's freaking out and I don't know what to do. Can't humans die from lack of oxygen?  
"Bella BREATHE!!!" I screamed. YAY! she listened. Okay, she is alive,  
Edward won't kill me and now we can get ready to SHOP! 


	4. Why were you attacking a sale attendant?

APOV

After getting Bella all pretty we drove to the mall. It was pretty large, not as sparkly as I wanted it to be, but okay I guess. After going inside i found that there are lots of weird looking people here all speaking jibberish. Now I need to find that jacket!  
I see a sale attendant I will ask her to help me.  
"Excuse me miss, can you help me find a Paul Mark blue suede jacket?" I asked in my nicest voice, reserved for persuading stupid humans. "que? je dont vous comprends." what the freak is she saying?  
Dude someone better answer me!

RANDOM SALE ATTENDANT POV

pourquoi est que la petite fille de sylphide courte tant envoy e sur mon coll gue ? (why is that short little pixie girl jumping on my co-worker)

BPOV

I was looking at a bag I actually considered getting when I heard Alice scream a line of profanities. I then saw her at the juniors department with six men trying to pry her off of this french-canadian lady.

APOV

"Alice, why were you attacking a human sale attendant?"  
Bella finally asked after returning to the hotel. "because she wouldn't answer me she just kept saying "que?" it was pissing me off, why couldn't she just tell me-"  
"she couldn't speak english, she is french." oh, haha yeah that makes sense. hehe maybe I should have learned french before coming to Canada, but that fricking lady could have been kinder to me. Why did she have to look all confused?  
whatever. I think we will just return home tomorrow. I dont like Canada. 


	5. they're all fucking fired

APOV

okay so i just stole the most amazing car ever from the home depot parking lot.  
you may be wondering why i was in home depot. well, i will never tell you! so the car is green...its a lamborgini...a lime green lamborgini! Bella will be oh so excited.

BPOV

"Bella i got a pretty car for us to drive home in!" Alice screamed from the door of the hotel room. "Why the hell did you buy a car? We could have driven your car!" I said loudly.  
"i kinda broke it at home depot." she said slowly and quietly.  
"how did you break your favorite car?" i asked trying not to upset her.  
"well, after they told me they didnt have anymore hello kitty keychains i got kinda mad and started throwing things. The sledge hammers ruined -sob- my -sob- engine." alice whimpered pathetically.  
"okay alice, its okay." i comforted her.  
"yay! now lets go, your stuff is in the trunk. I hate Canada!" she screamed while darting out the door.

MANAGER-OF-HOME-DEPOT-POV

"What happened to my keychain display?" I asked my employees sternly.  
"A short pixie came in wanting a hello kitty keychain and started throwing sledge hammers."  
jeff said quickly. what the hell. they're all fucking fired.

APOV

Canada has learned its lesson. I broke its store. hahahaha. I hate non-english speaking countries. 


End file.
